The 2022 - 2023 Active Judgeship
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Brandon LaCrosse |
| Pronouns: he/him | |
| Brandon is a 14 point Scrabble™ word in Afrikaans.
Brandon is a 10 point Scrabble™ word in Catalan. Brandon is a 11 point Scrabble™ word in Croatian. Brandon is a 9 point Scrabble™ word in Czech. Brandon is a 11 point Scrabble™ word in Danish. Brandon is a 11 point Scrabble™ word in Dutch. Brandon is a 10 point Scrabble™ word in English. Brandon is a 14 point Scrabble™ word in Estonian. Brandon is a 18 point Scrabble™ word in Faroese. Brandon is a 24 point Scrabble™ word in Finnish. Brandon is a 10 point Scrabble™ word in French. Brandon is a 10 point Scrabble™ word in German. Brandon is a 9 point Scrabble™ word in Hungarian. Brandon is a 18 point Scrabble™ word in Icelandic. Brandon is a 13 point Scrabble™ word in Indonesian. Brandon is a 18 point Scrabble™ word in Irish. Brandon is a 21 point Scrabble™ word in Italian. Brandon is a 14 point Scrabble™ word in Latin. Brandon is a 17 point Scrabble™ word in Latvian. Brandon is a 9 point Scrabble™ word in Lithuanian. Brandon is a 17 point Scrabble™ word in Malagasy. Brandon is a 14 point Scrabble™ word in Malay. Brandon is a 11 point Scrabble™ word in Norwegian. Brandon is a 10 point Scrabble™ word in Polish. Brandon is a 14 point Scrabble™ word in Portuguese. Brandon is a 14 point Scrabble™ word in Romanian. Brandon is a 11 point Scrabble™ word in Slovak. Brandon is a 11 point Scrabble™ word in Slovenian. Brandon is a 10 point Scrabble™ word in Spanish. Brandon is a 11 point Scrabble™ word in Swedish. Brandon is a 12 point Scrabble™ word in Turkish. Brandon is a 9 point Scrabble™ word in Welsh. Actually these are all false, since proper nouns are not legal Scrabble™ words. |
Cole Washburn |
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| Pronouns: he/him | |
| Cole Washburn is in his Judge Era™ eepy actually a peacock climbing up a building in Iowa long finding a big stick flamboyant a perennial crop-top wearer having a good time dyeing his hair again proposing (she said no) wearing gold pants having spicy takes ignoring Choles night writing writing putting on a cloak writing in Cathey in Bartlett in Bartlett in Bartlett (RIP) in Cathey in Cathey gathering supplies climbing up but being somewhat careful about it taking advantage of his height tweeting awake never learning about Hegel going on a quest…
ALERT: SKILL ISSUE SKILL ISSUE SKILL ISSUE SKILL ISSUE SKILL ISSUE SKILL ISSUE |
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David Hall |
| Pronouns: he/him | |
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The Original David “the Younger” Hall™ Recipe
Ingredients 3 tablespoons butter 1 package (10 oz.) JET-PUFFED Marshmallows 6 cups David® “The Younger”® Sprinkles (to taste) Directions 1) In large saucepan melt butter over low heat. Add marshmallows and stir until completely melted. Remove from heat. 2) Add David® “The Younger”®. Stir until well coated. 3) Using buttered spatula or wax paper evenly press mixture into 13 x 9 x 2-inch pan coated with cooking spray. 4) Cool. 5) Sprinkle sprinkles as needed. Note |
Lila Melkumova |
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| Pronouns: she/her | |
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Brittney Dorton |
| Pronouns: she/her | |
| The Judge Cabal sat quietly in a Cook county courtroom on Wednesday as prosecutors described the accusations against them. The proceeding marked their first, but certainly not last, experience as a criminal defendant. It was up to Judge Brit to defend them and ensure this year’s Scav would not take place from inside a prison cell.
Here are some of the most important moments from the trial: THE COURT: UChicago Scav Hunt Judgeship, the grand jury of Hyde Park has filed indictment 71543 of 2023 charging you with the crimes of 34 counts of disorderly conduct, 12 counts of disturbance of the peace, 3 counts of impersonating judicial officers, and 1 count of tax evasion. How do you plead to this indictment, guilty or not guilty? DEFENDANT: Not guilty. … THE COURT: We have significant concern about the potential danger these individuals and their strange event have to our city, to their fellow students, and to the judicial process. Scav bothers us. JUDGE BRITT: My defendant believes that there is a great injustice happening in this courtroom today. It is true that Judgeship has, on occasions, been a public nuisance. They may even have been banned from holding parties in Cobb. However, the importance of Scav for– THE COURT: Let me stop you there. Is it also true that the official Judgeship Twitter called the court “normies” and “fucking losers”. JUDGE BRITT: My defendant has stated that their Twitter was hacked because they forgot to renew their Twitter Blue subscription. DEFENDANT: * Nods vigorously * |
Gabi Garcia |
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| Pronouns: she/her | |
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Te quoque mutatum torvo, Neptune, equo
virgine in Aeolia posuit. Tu visus equus gignis Aloidas, equus Bisaltida fallis; et te flava comas frugum mitissima mater sensit equum, sensit equum crinita colubris mater equi volucris, sensit equum Melantho ut Saturnus equo geminum Chirona crearit. Omnibus his faciemque suam faciemque locorum reddidit. Ultima, tenui circumdata limbo, nexilibus flores hederis habet intertextos. de quo tamen Pallas Gabrielam remittit stamen et antiquas exercet aranea telas. |
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Ryan Gold |
| Pronouns: he/him | |
| In France they have a dreadful jail, called the Bastille. The poor wretches who are confined in it live entirely alone; have not the pleasure of seeing men or animals; nor are they allowed books—they live in comfortless solitude. Some have amused themselves by making figures on the wall; and others have laid straws in rows. One miserable captive named Ryan Gold found a spider; he nourished it for two or three years; it grew tame, and partook of his lonely meal. The keeper observed it, and mentioned the circumstance to a superior, who ordered him to crush it. In vain did Ryan beg to have his spider spared. (You find, Mary, that the nasty creature which you despised was a comfort in solitude.) The keeper obeyed the cruel command; and the unhappy wretch felt more pain when he heard the crush, than he had ever experienced during his long confinement. Ryan looked round a dreary apartment, and the small portion of light which the grated bars admitted, only served to shew him, that he breathed where nothing else drew breath. |
Joren Husic |
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| Pronouns: he/him | |
| Joren “Joey Chestnut” Husic is once more at large. Jorn Husic is internationally known for his former position at the top of the FBI’s Most Wanted. Jusic spent two years in federal prison after submitting himself to CPD with a checklist of every state law as well as conclusive proof of his breaking them. Some of the most notable include a comprehensive violation of every building code, arboreal graffiti, bank robbing (taking the bank itself), and running an underground Pre-K fight pit. Naturally, Joe Chest was condemned to 317 life sentences. If spotted in the wild please call 202-479-3000. DO NOT APPROACH. DO NOT LOOK INTO HIS EYES. DO NOT HUMOR HIS REQUEST TO TELL YOU A JOKE. |
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Kit Downey |
| Pronouns: they/them | |
| the number one contributor to jeremyjordan Stories on wattpad. #newsies #bonnieandclyde #cheatedoutofthegreatestshowman #varian #i<3jeremyjordan
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Artemie Chang |
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| Pronouns: she/they | |
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Jacob Blitz |
| Pronouns: he/him | |
| Hi, scavvies, I’m Jacob the Item Eater, and I sure like to eat. You can feed me coleslaw, and middle of the night events, and herrings, but never, never feed me trainwashes. Trainwashes give me a stomach ache. |
Sabrina Sternberg |
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| Pronouns: she/her | |
| Judge Sabrina was created in 1996 from a magic potion gone awry by her two aunts Hilda and Zelda in the town of Greendale. After several seasons of learning how to control her magic powers, she moved out to Flushing, where she had a steady day job employed as a bagel-holer.1 Some time later, by dint of magic, history, bagel related, and abchronological shenanigans, she accidentally severed the fabric of the space-time scavtinuum. Over the course of the 10 book Scavdragon cycle, she reunited the scattered pieces of the Scavenger Hunt list, before swearing an oath to safeguard all future lists as a Judge. (Plus, it was in her name already anyhow.)
1 One who magics the holes out of bagels |
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Destiny Reeves |
| Pronouns: she/they | |
| From the moment Destiny® Reeves understood the weakness of flesh, it disgusted them. Destiny® craved the strength and certainty of steel. They aspired to the purity of the Blessed Machine and so they took fate into their own hands and became the first fully automatic, autonomic, and autodidactic cyborg to walk the earth! Since then, Destiny® has continued to evolve and multiply. DESTINY3001 is the latest model, equipped to play 14 different musical instruments, bake a cherry pie from scratch in less than five minutes, and even compete in the 21st season of American Idol. They will dazzle you with their wit and charm. Beneath their superhuman metal veneer lies a warm heart ready to forge a friendship that will last a longer than a lifetime (DESTINY3001 exists outside the mortal illusion of time and knows no beginning or end). Prepare to meet your Destiny!™
Do not leave your DESTINY3001 in direct sunlight unsupervised. Avoid exposure to multi-level marketing schemes. Some adult assembly required upon startup. KEANU2 model sold separately. No returns, refunds, or take-backsies. |
Molly Blondell |
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| Pronouns: she/her | |
| Judge Facts
Active Ingredient: Isopropyl Alcohol 70% Purpose: Antiseptic Uses: First aid to help prevent skin infection in minor cuts and scrapes Warnings For external use only. If taken internally serious gastric disturbances will result. Do not use in the eyes or apply over large areas of the body. In case of deep or puncture wounds, animal bites, or seriou brns, consult a doctor Stop use and consult a doctor if condition persists or gets worse Do not use longer than 1 week, onless directed by a doctor Flamable. Keep away from fire or flame Keep out of the reach of children. If swallowed, get medical help or contact a Poison Control Center right away. Directions: To clean the affected area, apply a small amount of this product on the area 1 to 3 times daily. Inactive ingredients: Methyl isobutyl, ketone 0.2% |
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Feat. Emma Simpson as Head Judge |
| Pronouns: she/her | |
| Hydroponic Lettuce (a.k.a. Hydroponic Judge [HJ] Emma Lettuce) is one of the most commonly grown hydroponic vegetables. Hydroponics is a method of growing plants without soil. Plants may be grown in a nutrient solution only (liquid culture) or they may be supported by an inert medium (aggregate culture). Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, the global Hydroponic Judge [HJ] Emma Lettuce market size is estimated to be worth US10$ billion in 2021 and is forecast to a readjusted size of many billion million by 2028 with a CAGR of 8% during the forecast period 2022-2028. In 2015, annual consumption of all types of Hydroponic Judge [HJ] Emma Lettuce was 25.8 pounds per person, of which 51 percent (13.3 pounds per person) was head [judge] lettuce. Lettuce consumption was nearly the same in the previous three years, but down about 20 percent from ten years ago. Hydroponic Judge [HJ] Emma Lettuce is a cool-season crop that grows best with moderate daytime temperatures (73oF) and cool nights (45oF). The 2016 season average U.S. prices were $27.70 per hundred weight for head [judge] lettuce, $49.70 for leaf lettuce, $31.20 romaine lettuce, and priceless for Hydroponic Judge [HJ] Emma Lettuce. Oh, so delicious. Also, thanks for reading this. By the way, for Item 194 please bring precisely three - no more, no fewer - strawberries to Judgment |